I personally love reading other mom’s birth stories! Even before I experienced birth for myself, it has always been interesting tor read about the miracle of life and the power of a determined mother. It’s been 7.5 months since my life was forever changed when my son came into this world. I would not define any birth as “easy” but there are some that go “smoother” than others. Mine was not that kind of birth. I hope when you read my story, you feel empowered. I hope you know that it’s okay if your story isn’t “perfect” but that it is your own unique experience. I hope that if your birth story didn’t go the way you planned, much like mine did not, that you feel a connection to my story and that you can make peace with your own birth. Here we go!
I like to be prepared for all situations. I chose to have a hospital birth because it was my first birth and anything could happen. Ideally I would have loved a home birth but that seemed risky for my first birth and we decided against that. From the beginning of my pregnancy, I did know that I wanted a truly unmedicated birth with zero interventions. To do that, I knew I needed to be educated on all things birthing! When I was halfway through my pregnancy, I started researching different birthing methods and classes. I found one that aligned with my values and we went with the Bradley Method. “So what is the Bradley Method? In short, it’s a medication-free method that emphasizes relaxation as a form of pain reduction during labor. But it’s also a comprehensive plan that focuses on healthy living throughout your pregnancy.” (credit: Heathline.com) We lucked out because we found a Bradley Method teacher who was also a doula and could be there during labor to assist John and me. She also helped us write our birth plan too. I gave birth in the middle of the pandemic so no one was allowed in the birthing room except a spouse and/or a doula. We took a 12 week course with our doula that taught us SO much. I would definitely recommend taking a birthing class if you are expecting and would also recommend that your partner is there with you so he/she can understand exactly what your body goes through and how they can best support you!
A week prior to the actual birth, I was in prodromal labor. “Prodromal labor is labor that starts and stops before fully active labor begins. It’s often called “false labor,” but this is a poor description. Medical professionals recognize that the contractions are real, but they come and go and labor may not progress.” (credit: Healthline.com). I timed my contractions for a week, thinking each day that I woke up would be the day that I meet my baby. I got checked at the doctor several times but I had only been 1cm dilated all week. As a first time mother, it’s hard to decipher what the beginning of birth feels like. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions since 34 weeks so I guess they were just getting more frequent as our birth approached. It’s very easy to say that in hindsight now that it’s all said and done but in the moment I was growing impatient and feeling disappointed with each day that I wasn’t going into labor.
On Saturday March 13th, around midnight, my contractions started picking up again. We lived super close to the hospital and thought “THIS IS IT.” So we loaded up the car with our luggages and headed to the labor triage. Upon arriving, they checked my cervix and I was only 3.5cm dilated. Considering I had been 1cm all week, I was excited! The nurse said we could check into our room if we wanted to but strongly recommended that we go home and rest since we lived close by and that I would be more comfortable in my own home. We went home to try to get some rest.
The next morning, on Sunday, around 8:30am, my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. We loaded up the car and headed off to the hospital, hopefully we would get to meet baby today! Back again to labor triage, they checked me and I was 4.5cm dilated. This time we decided to check into the hospital, unsure of how quickly the rest of labor would progress. We called our doula to meet us at the hospital. We moved from the labor triage to our laboring room and got settled in. Our doula arrived with all of her goodies to help labor progress naturally and to help me manage pain with no interventions. She completely transformed our cold hospital room into a zen-like atmosphere: flameless candles, oil diffuser, relaxing playlist, and cold towels infused with essential oils.
The entire natural labor portion of my birth lasted 19 hours. It was slow steady progression all day long. I started by using the breast pump to naturally promote oxytocin in my body (the way that a doctor would use Pitocin to start labor). I walked around my room and bounced on the labor ball. As the pain of contractions began to intensify, it was harder to walk around and bounce. I did eventually start laboring in the hot shower and that felt AMAZING. If you have a shower in your room, use it! My doula and John also used a rebozo to help relieve low back pain. As the day went on, walking felt agonizing. It got to the point where I thought I couldn’t do it. But I knew that I didn’t want interventions. What helped me tremendoulsy was talking to my baby! I kept saying things like “I can’t wait to meet you.” “We will be together so soon.””You are worth this pain.” and “My body is capable of anything.” Mostly whispering to myself, trying to conserve my energy. When we got into the “transition” stage of labor, the last stage before pushing, that was when things got tough. Transition is when you have double peaks of intense pain during contractions. I knew this because of the birthing classes. I cried and I knew that I would. It’s an unspeakable pain for about 2 minutes and then you get a 2 minute rest. That cycle lasts anywhere from 30-60 minutes. I was laboring on all fours, on my side, any way that felt good for my body. If you’re reading this, know that you can advocate for your birth! You don’t have to lay down the entire time, as long as you haven’t received an epidural and have a hep-lock instead of an IV so that you aren’t hooked up to a machine. I’ll attach my birth plan so you have an example of these types of things that your’e allowed to ask for during your hospital stay. Back to labor, transition is when most mothers typically ask for pain medication. I made it through transition and I immediately knew it too. I felt a sense of calmness. The nurse checked me and I was at 9.5cm. However, I had the strongest urge to push. I pushed for THREE HOURS all natural. Just my doula and John supporting me the whole time. Encouraging me, putting cold towels on my head and neck, letting me squeeze their hands.
When the OBGYN came in to check on me, she told me that I had a lip of cervix that was blocking the baby and suggested that I could try an epidural to dilate more and that I could continue to push if I wanted to or I could have a C-section. After pushing for 3 hours, I was drenched in sweat. But, I definitely would have kept going. EXCEPT, something felt wrong. My water never broke until I was pushing and when it did, the water was greenish, meaning the baby had a meconium (the baby had a bowel movement inside). The heart rate monitor attached to my belly had kept slipping around and they weren’t constantly checking on him. Call it mother’s intuition, I just had this explosive feeling inside me. This hot, heavy, NEED to get my baby out of me ASAP. Of course I was exhausted but I managed to say “Get this baby out of me NOW!” to everyone in the room. Everything after that was a whirlwind. It felt like everyone came rushing into my room: the anesthesiologist, the entire operating team, the paperwork people, everyone. Mind you, I”m still bearing down pushing my baby as all of this is happening. You can’t stop, once the urge to push starts, you keep pushing. All of this legal jargon is being sputtered out to me from a woman and I told her to have John agree and sign because at this point the pain is deafening from pushing and my anxiety is at an all time high. They wheeled me off to get me prepped for surgery. I’m still pushing. The doctor sat me on the table, I’m still pushing, and told me to hold still because they were about to put a HUGE needle into my spine and I wasn’t supposed to move. As I bear down for another push, a massive needle is pushed into my spine to administer the pain medication. I don’t feel any pain from the needle because at this point my body is overstimulated with pain and everything is numb. 20 seconds later, a warm, tingly sensation covers me like a hot wave. There is no more pain. They lay me down, put a yellow gown on my body and blue shower cap over my head. There is a curtain between me and the operating team. John and my doula each come into the room, wearing operating scrubs, and each of them sit by my side to comfort me. I did have a plan B birth plan in case I had to get a c-section, and I’m glad I had that prepared. What I’m about to say next is not from my own memory but from John’s recollection of the next event because I was pretty out of it/he didn’t tell me what was going on in the moment so that I wouldn’t be in distress (more than I already was).
When they opened me up, the baby was pushed so far down my birth canal that they had to push him back up so that they could take him out of my body. Once they took him out, he didn’t cry. They had to use this device to suction out the meconium (baby poop) that he had swallowed. When babies are born, they are rated on an APGAR score from 1-10. 10 being the best! Liam was a 1 when he was “born”. The operating team called a “code pink” and more people swarmed into the room. However, after suctioning out the meconium, Liam was just fine. He cried, he turned pink, and he was alert. They cleaned him off, John cut the cord, and they brought him over to me so I could see him. My heart melted. He was absolutely PERFECT.
Against my birth plan of immediate skin to skin, they had to put him under the sun lamp and observe him for two hours post birth. They stitched me up and wheeled me back to my room where I slept. In the moment, it felt like I had been napping for maybe 20 minutes but it had been 2 hours. John was with Liam in the nursery and never left his side. I awoke to John wheeling the baby bassinet into our room and I got to meet Liam again but this time I was able to do skin to skin. I immediately asked for him to be placed in my arms and I attempted to breastfeed. He immediately latched and it was the most magical moment of my life. I was a mother to this baby! Liam James Derner, 8 lb 13 oz and 22 inches long.
That’s my birth story. It didn’t go as I had “perfectly planned” in my mind but I did get to have the natural labor experience I wanted up until I couldn’t. I still like to say I had a “natural birth” with an emergency c-section because that’s what happened. For many reasons, I was not able to push him out and that is okay. At the end of the day, he still entered the world in his own way and he is a happy baby that loves his parents and we love him more than anything in this entire world. I’m grateful for everything this experience taught me and that I have a healthy baby boy. I know that I did everything possible to educate myself on birth and that I was able to advocate for myself to avoid a cascade of interventions.
A side note: I did save my placenta! We had it dried and encapsulated through hill country placentas. All we had to do was notify the hospital that we wanted to keep my placenta and we also brought a cooler to the hospital. Post birth, John texted the placenta lady and she came and picked it up from the hospital. They steamed it, dried it, and encapsulated my placenta and had it overnighted to our house! Super easy. I definitely think it helped even out those WILD hormones the first few weeks. The placenta is full of incredible nutrients. It helps replenish your iron, increase milk production, and increase energy.
Here is a copy of our birth plan. We had a plan B for a C-section as well. I also had a visual birth plan and brought copies and tape to the hospital to have it put up on the outside of my door and around the room and for the nurses/doctors. I also made little care packages for the nurses who took care of us! I will make a separate post on what to pack to the hospital because it’s quite lengthy too!
XOXO,
